You can’t deny that this industry of blogging and influencing is extremely saturated these days. There are SO many bloggers now. SO many. All producing kick ass content. It is so competitive. And that fact alone can put some people off starting at all. I know it did put me off for ages. It is impossible to keep up with everything, support everyone that you follow even though you want to as best as you can and read / consume it all because it comes in different forms and it is constant and on demand. Even more so than the amount of box sets and movies on SkyQ. And that’s A LOT you guys. This is a biggie. Sitting here writing this one. Part of me feels like it’s ‘too negative’ to publish and that I should keep it for private eyes. But. Blog posts can’t all be happy and fluffy like candy floss because that isn’t real life. You’d soon run out of stuff to talk about if it was all fluffy and there wasn’t anything gritty or posts that get you thinking or questioning something in your life. This question has been in my head before I even hit publish on the first version of my blog page / website back in January, fuck that feels like forever ago but also like yesterday. V weird. This question was one of the things that stopped me taking the plunge on this blog thing sooner and it plays on my mind constantly. Seriously. It does. So I ask you, and i’m being dead serious. Am I Wasting My Time? Like is there a point in me trying to get my point across at all? Is there a point in me even having a blog at all? Because being totally honest with you sometimes I really can’t see the point at all and I do wonder what the fuck am I doing and why the hell did I open this can of worms. Sometimes, like right now, I can’t see the point of me spending time trying to make my site look a bit better, learning new ways and techniques on how to create a website from scratch when you have 0 experience or spending time writing detailed posts about stuff and getting pictures for them. I just can’t right now and this has happened before. I mean it’s not like I’m gonna get seen anyway because I’m as small as a flea around here, and that’s me being generous about it. Don’t pity me. It’s the truth. In this industry you have to have money, a lot of it for various things, and have blogging as your prime focus or as your job to get anywhere with it. You can’t simply do it as a hobby anymore and have it take off. At least from what I’ve learned over the last 6 months. Like right now I can’t afford to put hundreds of pounds into this, it was supposed to be a lil experiment, and i’m glad I didn’t pour money into it right away because the way things are going I may not be at this for much longer if I cant get this lack of inspo thing to shift it’s arse. Ugh. But honestly I feel crap right now about the whole blogging thing. Like I literally could just press the delete site button and I honestly don’t think anyone would notice. Again, don’t pity me. I don’t want or need pity. That’s just what is in my head. Call me cynical but that is exactly how I feel right now and it sucks. And the fact that I do love a bit of cynicism now and again. And a good rhetorical question too. Doesn’t everyone? Or am I alone here? I have considered deleting everything and just disappearing and going back to how things were before I started all this. Just back to the lil Brummie girl on instagram who posts cool pics (maybe, I could be wrong) now and again or travel pics from my holidays when I go on them. It would be so much easier and less stressful or time consuming. I feel like I can’t be the only person who has had doubts about their content and what they’re doing with their little online space and thought about this kinda thing before but I’ve never seen a post published talking about it so I thought why not. I’ve got absolutely nothing to lose and I have literally zero other ideas so it’s something to do. Get me? Yes it’s not exactly a happy or fluffy post or a post even remotely related to what the categories on my site homepage say this blog is about. Lol. God knows why I even have categories, I never stick to them. I just write about the first fucking thing that pops into my head. But I actually felt like writing, finally, and after how I’ve felt today and for a few days at least I was writing something down onto a pages document. Wahey. Go me! This could be a consequence of me still having depression in a dormant kinda way. It’s still there and it does creep back sometimes like an annoying bug that wont fly out the window and go away no matter how many times you tell it to buzz off. Or it could be the fact that the weather in the uk right now is so fucking depressing and it feels like the cold and dreariness of December but without Christmas to look forward to and no parties to go to. Seriously. England is shite right now guys. But with that aside this is how I feel and I wanted it written down so I could make sense of it. Fuck knows if anyone will read this. See, it all links up together in a circle. HA. That wasn’t planned I swear. I hope I’m not wasting my time. But I could be. And that thought of ‘i could be’ will stay with me for as long as I do, do this. I think. Part of me thinks it’s natural to have little wobbles and lapses and doubts but bloody hell is it annoying. So if anyone feels like this right now or has ever felt like this then know that I understand you. And it’s normal to feel like pure shite over it. Because lord knows I feel and have felt terrible about it too. I mean you can’t be creative 24/7 can you?? I mean if you can and there’s a drug for it then fire them at me sis because that would be v good right now. Cheers. But seriously, humour aside. This does happen to people and I think it deserves more air time than it currently has. Because this shit is hard and being a creative person is stressful and time consuming and draining at times. But if you did sit and read this lil mish mash that doesn’t make a lot of sense of me kinda ranting but using a bit of humour too then thank you. I love you. Like, a lot :) Maybe I will stick around. Who the fuck knows because I full well don’t know anything right now. lol. I don’t even know what I’m having for breakfast tomorrow morning... And on that note I’m gonna go. Bye.
8 Comments
I totally get where you are coming from! It’s so hard being a small blogger, I constantly compare my site to others and question whether I’m even doing well. I know though that without blogging in my life, I would feel like a little piece of me is missing... this is why I continue to press on when it gets hard! Sending you lots of motivation and joy for your brilliant blog! We can do this!!
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Well done for being honest with us & with yourself. It's a totally saturated community but with all of our differing USPs, there's room for all of us if we use synergy to work with each other instead of competition to work against each other.
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Hallie
12/6/2019 18:53:34
I feel you. I get that feeling all the time and it is even one of the reason why i haven’t yet started my own blog. But keep on growing! It will be better!
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Alicea Jones
13/6/2019 15:20:57
I get what you're getting at but I dont see the point you're trying to make. It just seems very negative. You're saying blogging can't be a hobby but you don't seem willing to put the effort in to truly make it work and when it doesn't seem to work out for you, you post negative posts like this. If it truly is a passion and a hobby of yours it wouldn't matter as long as you enjoy your content. Instead of focusing on making it big just put the effort in instead of complaining about stuff not working out. 🙂 and just because you get views on this post doesn't mean people will tune in to posts you are putting passion and positivity into. 🙂 keep up the hard work and positivity. Don't let negativity be the thing you're known for
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Jade
13/6/2019 22:39:14
I was waiting for someone to say it was too negative. I appreciate the comment but blogging is a form of expression for me and for many people. this was how I was feeling and I wrote it down. many people have reached out to me since I published this and said they have felt similar things to me so it's not just 'me having a massive moan'. also for your information I can't devote 100% to this right now because of university and that has to come first I'm afraid. what I'm trying to say is that it can be deflating when you put in lots of effort and time for no one to see it and it can feel like you're wasting your time. and also I am not known for negativity, thats outrageous, this is the first 'negative' post i've ever written. also it's my blog I can do what I please, if you wanna be 100% positive on yours then that's cool.
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Shannon
13/6/2019 16:46:58
You got this? I know how you feel but I love love love seeing your content
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Jade
13/6/2019 22:41:00
that's so nice to hear, thank you :)) xxxx
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