Hi everyone and welcome back to my blog for another post. This post is gonna be another rambling type of post where I just talk about something that’s on my mind. Prepare yourselves, this probably won’t make much sense and it may take a while so grab a cuppa and a snack. The topic i’m about to write about has been on my mind for a little while now and I wanna get it off my chest. There is a lot of shit going down at the moment, and there has been for quite a while now about social media not being reflective of real life and that it is setting unrealistic expectations on what life should be like. Especially for young and impressionable girls and boys that use social media. I mean, even I’ve had a few messages from a few people saying ‘i wanna be like you when I get to your age’ or ‘omg your life looks so perfect’ and that's what made me want to write this. Basically, those messages were very thought provoking for me. Because shock horror everyone: My life is not perfect. It might look like it is but it isn’t.
First point, what I choose to reveal and post on Instagram is merely the highlights and the good shit. I think it’s so important that everyone realises that instagram and social media is merely a reel of highlights and someone’s best bits. And I believe that everyone on instagram needs to emphasise that social media and especially instagram doesn’t show the full picture. It never will, unless you literally stayed on it 24/7 and showed every single part of your life on a constant live stream and we all know that no one would or could do that because we all have lives and tbh it would be a bit weird. I mean if someone wants to go for it good luck to them and I hope their phone battery is powerful enough to withstand it… I’m digressing again. Second point. While the messages I received were very sweet and I was flattered I kinda wanted to say to them and reply back… you honestly don’t want my life. But I can’t blame that person because they are purely going off what they see from me from what I share. But there are things that happen in my life that I choose not to share with more than two and a half / nearly three thousand people. And I am guilty of showing just the highlights of my life. Just like so many other people on instagram are and deep down I know that people think it even if they dont publicly admit it. Whether I’m posting about travel, or avo on toast, which coffee shop I’m in, where I’ve been shopping or when I’m in London. I am gonna work of showing more of the ‘real life’ side of me and more of the ‘real life’ stuff, especially on my stories and I have made a start on that. But fully opening up in this way means i’m vulnerable to criticism and online trolls / hate and I don’t know if I can handle that right now emotionally. I’m stressed enough as it is with uni let alone people behind a screen being mean to me. I’m terrible for taking things to heart and overthinking them. And then I put myself in a right state. Part of my depression is thinking myself into a state of paranoia to the point that everyone hates me and that I shouldn’t be here anymore. Yes that’s dark stuff but again, that’s the truth and the reality of what happens inside my head sometimes. It used to happen every single day but now it’s thankfully a rare thing but it still happens now and again if I slip off the wagon. This is the kind of stuff that I think people should be talking about. To normalise taboos and show what the person behind the photos and videos thinks and feels day to day. I’ve broken so many boundaries down in the last few months and I think that opening up fully in every aspect might just push it slightly too far. Right now at least. But I do try to keep it real with you on my instagram. Telling you all about my day, when stuff gets hard at work sometimes, trains being shitty, uni being hectic and my to do lists and stuff. I never thought I would ever talk on my Instagram stories to over 2000 people or start a blog but here we are. But there is a lot that I keep private. And there are reasons for that. Which I wont explain right now because I don’t have to. That’s my decision. I might choose to in the future and when I do it’ll be my choice and that’s perfectly fine. But it’s also fine if I never speak about certain things. Individual choice is always the key thing. Anyway, next point. Just like the next person, and virtually everyone, I sit on my phone and compare myself and my life to someone I see on instagram. It’s so easy to do. And hard to stop yourself doing sometimes. Now this is the difference in my mentality now. I still compare stuff I see. Before it would make me sad, feel like everything I was doing was inferior and I would feel like a failure. That’s the god honest truth and that’s how sick I was mentally a few years ago to as recent as a year ago. However something clicked later in the year. Someone would post something that looked AMAZING but (and this is key), you have no idea what that person is going through behind the scenes or off camera, what hardships they have been through or going through right now. We just see a beautiful image or video that has been curated and edited and planned ahead of time. And that’s the difference. I know now that what people share is just a portion of their life that they want you to see and it doesn’t tell the full story. Social media is a collection and a reel of highlights. Take me for example. I uploaded a picture the other night of me smiling like a tit from when I was in shoreditch acting like a child but what you dont know is that I woke up Wednesday morning in agony with stomach cramps because of my IBS, which I am stuck with for life. I was practically in tears. And then to top it off I was actually sick. Then I dragged myself to my lecture at 9am. And then add in yesterday, I had several panic attacks and I was anxious for the majority of the day. Struggling to breathe at times, crying a shit ton and feeling sensitive and hyper vigilant to everything. It sucks and it really fucking hurts and sometimes it feels impossible to deal with. But that’s life. You have to just grit your teeth, take a moment to stand back and breathe and get the fuck on with stuff. But none of you, maybe except my friend who I was with at uni all day, would have known that that happened because I (obviously) didn’t broadcast that all over the internet on instagram because why would I. That’s not content that you WANT to see. But I think now that it’s content that we NEED to see online. Maybe not that specifically but stuff similar to it, those were just examples from something that happened this week. If you understand where I’m going with this. Because we are only human and it’s impossible to have perfect days every day. I mean if you do then FAB and please tell me your tricks. But for me personally I think it’s important to show that bad days happen and that life can be shit sometimes. Very very shit sometimes. And I think that everyone has a position, I was gonna say duty but I dont wanna sound like a mom, to show that everything is NOT perfect in our lives 24/7, that stuff goes wrong and that we have bad days like everyone else and that we struggle to cope at times so we avoid scenarios where people (mainly the media) start calling out bloggers and influencers saying we’re totally perfect and that we aren’t showing real life and that we’re setting unrealistic expectations to impressionable people. Prevention rather than a solution if you get my drift. Basically. In the midst of all this ramble. I just need you guys to remember a few things: Social media is a reel of highlights. People choose what they want to share and they probably have reasons for it so don’t hassle them or give them grief over what their boundaries are. Please respect everyones choices for what they share and don't share. And remember that social media doesn’t show the full picture of someone’s life. You truly dont know what happens in that persons actual life and the person behind the screen or the phone. So don’t jump to conclusions or compare yourself to someone you see online. Because you may not own a designer handbag like someone else does that you see online, but they may have lost someone close to them or been extremely ill or been through something rough mentally. You just don’t know. It could be absolutely anything. And then one final thing leading on from that is: Be nice. Don’t say something online that you wouldn’t say to someone in real life. Because people behind the screen are real. They have feelings and emotions and stuff can cut deep and really hurt someone. So if you dont have anything nice to say dont say it at all because being behind a screen doesn’t excuse you at all. It shouldn’t happen anywhere but especially not online. So there. Thats some of my thoughts on the whole online vs reality debate thing. I could talk about this for so much longer but I didn’t want to bore you for too long. I appreciate that this literally has no structure at all but I wanted to express my thoughts about something more complex, because part of me having a blog is having somewhere to express myself. If you got this far then thank you so much for reading and I really do truly appreciate it and you. I’d love to know what you think about this topic as it is up in the air right now and being talked about. But for now i’ll say that I love you all so much and i’ll see you soon for another post. Love Jade xxx
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
Blog postsHere you can find all my blog posts. Categories
All
|